1). Only time I think about you is when I think of how I haven’t thought of you.

2). How is it that I miss you,

Without missing you?

Want you, without wanting you?

All I need to do is say no,

But how is one thing, a million things too?

Speaking to you through my notes is all I can ever do,

How could this ever be love when you’re not here too?

It’s more than a habit, less than an addict;

Somewhere in space,

Miles away from earth

We’re together and it doesn’t hurt.

Yes I’m over you,

But I could stay in this Space, here on Earth,

Being together, and keeping you out so it doesn’t hurt,

Just so I could keep you in here, this deep whole that never closed up.

When all goes wrong I think of you,

Because I know the dead don’t move,

And I don’t want to be alone –

So I carry on attaching myself to you.

You became my reflex,

And now I have to unlearn you.

You have to want too.

3). I believed in you,

And now I can’t believe in anything.

You did not break my heart,

You had my soul,

My mind in your palm.

You will pay for it, though,

With that loneliness that will never depart.

4). I’m backwards,

Trust the thoughts I shouldn’t –

And shun the ones I shouldn’t.

I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t,

This is why I have to pay a therapist

To show me the way.

I’m backwards,

Born forwards,

But something turned upside down in me

When she left me,

The one who was supposed to love me no matter what;

And now I can’t be loved no matter what,

How funny is that?

6). You sinned to hide your sin,

And that’s what a coward is.

I’m the life of the party,

But I’ve given so much.

You want me to bring you in,

But you’ve already taken so much.

Attention and lust,

Hot pants and snogs.

Soak up my light,

Trying to have fun,

Leave me alone if you love me –

That’s why I knew you lied when you said you loved me.

You just want me.

I don’t understand how love doesn’t come with that.

7). One day you’ll be a 100 miles away from the heartbreak,

So far,

You won’t feel it, ricochet,

And shake the ground,

It won’t ever go but that’s why we move on.

8). And I wish I could let you love me,

But all I feel is that hole, an emptiness,

When you’re human, and vulnerable.

All I feel is shame, and disgust,

When you look at me.

My Mumma broke my heart,

And I can’t find the pieces,

Or the pieces are just set in stone.

Maybe that’s why I’ve always let you hurt me,

So the lava will come

And somehow stone will glow.

You locked me away,

But forgot, when found, my freedom will shatter your

Imaginary walls, and my heart in one blow,

So I can build a new one, a new home.

9). You always said I was the stars,

And you the sun;

But you knew that was true didn’t you?

That when you rise,

I would fall,

Become invisible,

And let you burn my world.

Don’t forget where you came from,

You’ll forget where you belong.

10). It’s all done to silence you,

Keep you stuck in their treacle trap.

But, you never thought I’d grow a new part to me,

And slip right out your reach

⁃ keep the old me.

Fleeting Fights

In the face of the controversy caused by Little Mix’s revolutionary album, entitled “LM5”, I thought I should write about it.

The album itself, and it’s responses, respectively, has disconcerted the core values and ideas, I have, of my womanhood. I am a 16 year old girl, who already (like many others) has been at the wrath of hyper-masculinity, sexual objectification and gender roles.

I have continually been strongly fighting against the decorum of what is expected of women, traditionally. I see the future as both men and women, rather than either one of them. And I see the idea of a personality – the many individual aspects of a person – overcoming this idea of gender confinement. I am not my gender: I am me.

Let me elaborate on that. Many (wrongly) attach what females should be entitled to because of their gender. I think, personally, it is the wrong way to empower ourselves. Not to say that I’m not proud of being a woman: I feel such unison and passion knowing I am one, knowing I am part of a world-wide, female dominated movement. But – I don’t want to get a job because of my gender. I don’t want to be respected because of my gender. I don’t want to be treated as an equal because of my gender. You should want all of those things because your characteristics deserve them. That being said, it’s absolutely crucial – for a period of time – that women do indeed receive those things because of their gender… in order to overcome the systematic oppression of women. What most do not understand, however, is that for a woman to even reach the stage I am talking about, we must override the boundaries set for us since birth and reach the power men (collectively) have. And that means saying we are entitled to everything a male is – since he receives everything because of his gender (and most definitely).

Some of the responses that have really made me question my beliefs, come from the infamous (and chauvinistic) Piers Morgan. Most of us have probably seen them. And most of us have probably wanted to scream at him. He believes Little Mix have got it all wrong.

If you haven’t already seen it, Little Mix released this photo. To briefly explain to you the meaning, the women have stripped themselves of make-up, clothing – daily things. And despite that, the comments (mostly misogynistic) have stayed with them – showing how these words confine them daily. And by publicly advertising this, it shows they both want to bring awareness to sexism and bullying, and “strip” it away.

Piers Morgan, however, believes they are using this as ploy to sell albums via their sexuality. And that rather, they should be doing this with their talent.

Part of me was conflicted by this. At first, I was like yeah, actually that is true. Women have been confined because of their sexuality for so long, by men, and now you want to sell an album because of it? Talk about taking 2 steps back. We shouldn’t be defined by our sexuality whatsoever. We should be defined, as I aforementioned, by who we are as individuals.

But I made sure I challenged this trail of thought, to make sure it was both valid and intelligent. I came to this conclusion. I was wrong. Piers Morgan had one fatal flaw in his argument:

If Little Mix were using their sexuality to sell albums, it is GENIUS. What is more empowering than using the very thing that others have oppressed you for, for centuries? It’s almost how the LGBTQ+ society, took the word “queer” – that was used to oppressed them – for themselves and owned it.

There is something quite empowering about “re-owning” what oppressed you – its a part of your ancestry, the struggle your ancestors endured. And now YOU use it, YOU have the power – the very they used against you. God, if I’m a bitch for speaking my mind. If I’m a slut for wearing what I want. Call me a bitch and slut some more! What a compliment, quite frankly.

We should OWN OUR SEXUALITY. Women can be BOTH TALENTED AND SEXUAL, and still be who we are; in fact, that very choice, to whom ever makes it, is core to their character.

If a woman chooses to sexualise herself, that is her choice – and no man, or woman, will or can take take that away from her.

Your body, your choice. My body, my choice. Our bodies, our choice.

Woman Like Me

I think there is beauty everywhere,

In every line and crevice of the human face,

Crooked and straight.

Ultraviolets and golds

At the base

Of yours and mine’s stories to be told,

That we decorate,

With the souls of strangers laced

Into our heart rate,

Where they all live forever as bold,

as of the infinitive universes’ grace.

Milks and honeys,

Chocolate siennas and vanilla,

Night skies painted with big taupe eyes:

It’s everywhere you see,

Just hidden away

From vanity and what we preach.

What We Preach